Last Thursday all PC trainees had to visit a current PC volunteer in order to get a better understanding of the PC as a volunteer. I was sent to a place called Las Mercedes, Tacuba, Ahuachapán. I was excited to get away from the training environment for a few days, but the volunteer that I was to visit told me to pack VERY light because we’d have to hike 1.5 hrs in order to get to his site. HIKE?!?! LIKE UP A MOUNTAIN!!!! I tried to be open minded and everything….but I really wasn’t looking forward to that part of the trip.
So early Thursday morning I left my host family and about 4 hours later I met Jeff (the volunteer that I had been assigned) in Ahuachapán and we then took a bus to Tacuba. While in Tacuba I saw MS 13 and MS 18 spray painted on a few buildings…needless to say I didn’t wanna spend much time in that city. We took a pickup truck from Tacuba to some place which is located at the bottom of the mountain (most cars can’t go up the mountain). I remember thinking to myself “this guy lives in the jungle”. We started up the mountain and the only thing that I could think about was the fact that I might be living in a site like this in less than two months. THE HIKE WAS TERRIBLE!! The guy lives AT THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN!! The hike lasted for more than two hours, we took so many breaks because I thought my lungs were gonna jump out of my chest. THIS IS WHEN I FIRST ASKED MYSELF “What the hell am I doing in the PC?”
The next day Jeff told me that we were going to take a water filter to some lady’s house and that she lived about 1.5 hrs away (LIE!!). So we headed out after breakfast at 7:30am. The walk was so intense that I seriously thought I was gonna die. On the way we passed many people and they asked Jeff where we were heading. Once people found out where we were going they would look at me (at this point I was sweating profusely) and then tell Jeff that I wouldn’t be able to make it and that I would be in a lot of pain the next day. One man even asked him why he was taking me to a place so far away. At about 9:30 my legs started trembling and I began to feel nauseous. Periodically Jeff would ask me if I were doing ok and if I could continue walking WHAT OTHER CHOICE DID I HAVE? IT WAS EITHER CONTINUE WALKING OR STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE WHERE EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME AND ONE WRONG STEP I’D BREAK MY ANKLE, FALL INTO A DITCH, AND DIE!
After about three hours of hiking my hands started to swell. My fingertips were the size of grapes and I thought that blood was gonna start gushing out of them. I threw up three times and I just couldn’t understand why I was sent to visit this guy up in the mountains and why he was taking me to my death. As I was walking up (and down and up and down) the mountain I prayed for strength to make it through. To God I said “Father, I am dying here. I don’t think I can make it. Just give me a little more strength.” Even though I was in so much pain I had to remind myself that He was there with me and that He wouldn’t leave me. Long story short, we finally made it to the lady’s house at 1 (do the math!!!), gave her the filter, rested and then went back to his community.
I was in such a bad mood. My experiences that weekend made me question my motivation for wanting to be a PC volunteer and I wanted to return to Chicago. On that mountain I was convinced that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that I wasn’t cut out for PC life and I was LIVID with Jeff for taking me through all of that. I honestly thought about killing him on several different occasions. The one thing that held me back was the fact that I had no idea how to find my way off that mountain...AND i guess I'm not the murdering type. I had to call my Mommy to let her know about my terrible weekend. When I called she said that I had been on her mind all weekend and that she had been praying for me. She also told me that everything that I had gone through had been a test of my faith. She also reminded me that God has a purpose for me and that it was no mistake that I had been sent to that site.
That test has now become my TESTimony. My God is real and He didn’t leave me! I called on Him when I thought that I couldn’t make it any further and He showed up for me! Yes, my legs still hurt! Yes, I will probably be sore for a few more days! Yes, this was probably the first of many tests that I will have to go through here in El Sal! But one thing that I know for sure is that even during my darkest hour there will always be someone with me…strengthening me when I’m weak, accompanying me when I’m lonely. Ain’t God alright?
It ain’t over til God says it’s over…
BTW…I am no longer mad at Jeff. I had to go through this experience and NOW I’m grateful that he took me up that mountain (hmmm...how crazy!).
I’m so grateful for my Mama and my Daddy...who encouraged me this weekend when I thought I’d be heading home a lot earlier than planned.
Love & miss you all,
Mya
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Oh my Dear sister.... I know Im late but I just read your blog.. Im sorry you had to experience somethg so terrible (in my eyes) but remember God is always with you... Im also glad your feeling better....
ReplyDeletewhat your mom said is right"
ReplyDeletethat was your test of faith from god.
you stated that there was times when you thought of killing the man.
but instead you called on god.
you also said that there was many times
you wanted to leave and go home early.
but instead you stayed.
that was your faith growning stronger,
and stronger.
each time you wanted to give up.
you found away in your heart to stay.
you are not there by accident.
god have plans for you.
and you have showed him.
that you are ready for him to use you.
i am Larry and i use to come to your
house with vinnie and it's been years
since i seen you.
but keep up the good work.
and i will pray for you also.
but if you want some ketchup
just send me the address to where
you are and i will mail you some.
and Mya"
never loose your faith"
take care.
oh and one more thing.
i live on a farm now in the country.
and i know what you mean.
by that loud rooster noise.
i been wanting to kill my neighbors rooster
for 5 years now.
This is really late . . . You might have forgotten about this post you've made by now. But anyways I did exactly just that when I was in Peru. I delivered filters and built stoves. I was high up in the Andes Mountains and I thought I was going to die! But I called on to HIM as well and I made it through and sometimes he brought someone along who can helped me.
ReplyDelete